Carrying The Wounds Forward
Updated: Jul 12, 2020
Dirty Little Secret Continued
All of my articles leading up to now have documented my struggles coming to terms with my experiences as an alien contactee and abductee. Making sense of this as a family heritage. Dealing with my emotions as my children become part of this scary fertility program, and learning to cope with my apparent role helping those like me in the future. But this phenomenon goes deeper than these surface issues. These issues are on a mostly conscious level. These things that define me, make me who I am, permeate my being down to my soul. My last article, “I can’t breathe in this mask,” began the conversation of being a Starseed. I have memories of previous lives, and some of those are not as a human… and sometimes not on Earth. So, not only do I have alien contact in this life, I was an alien before! One of the most difficult tasks I have struggled with is talking openly about my experiences in this life, and before, and being open and honest about who I am, and about my purpose in this life. It recently dawned on me that this is not a new theme for me. This struggle is a wound I have carried throughout several lifetimes.
Last week I had a sleep study (yeah I snore, so what?). I was sitting in a chair in front of the TV, while I waited for the technician to come and hook me up to all the machines that would monitor me through the night. I happened upon a recent documentary about Stonehenge. I love history, so I was sucked into the show immediately. The narration moved into other Neolithic sites, and mentioned Newgrange in Ireland. I sat up straight and focused even more intently, because I have memories that involve that place. According to the show, the devastating droughts that Ireland suffered last summer allowed archaeologists access to structures that have not been visible under all the undulating grass that was now brown and broken. They flew a drone over Newgrange that showed a formerly unknown stone structure that was completely buried immediately next to the famous burial mound. I stood up quickly, took a sharp intake of breath…remembered where I was, sat primly back down, and whispered to myself, “I knew it!” I did allow myself one satisfying fist bump. I knew there was a henge type structure near Newgrange. I remember it being built, and though I don’t remember Newgrange, I know I was buried near that henge—and have always had this feeling that I was under Newgrange itself.
When I got home the next day I called my mother and related to her my night’s revelations. I just couldn’t wait to share how a past life memory was validated for me by this particular TV show. I told her, “I know I’m buried there. I died protecting that site. I was stabbed in the stomach. Run through—which seems common for me. I remember dying at least three times by being stabbed in the stomach.” “That’s funny because your weak spot has always been your stomach,” Mom says. “What do you mean?” I asked even though my multiple food allergies and sensitive stomach immediately came to mind. She said, “I couldn’t nurse you if I ate corn or chocolate.” “Makes sense if I am allergic to corn.” “And you always got a stomach ache when you were feeling stressed out.” “Oh?” “Yeah, I noticed the pattern after your father and I split up, and you came home sick from school five Mondays in a row. I realized that was when you had just come back from being at your dad’s.” “Oh wow. So, I’ve always had stomach issues.” “Surely your tummy troubles now are related to the painful deaths you remember.” “I think you’re onto something, Mom. Especially when thinking about the corresponding chakra.” The solar plexus chakra is located below the ribs, and slightly above the naval. This is the chakra of self-empowerment, self-confidence, self-discipline, and the ability to achieve goals. If one has a solar plexus chakra that is injured, or under-active, he or she may lack self-confidence, be nervous, worry what others think, and seek the approval of others. This describes how I have felt my entire life. I have to fight to be heard, need constant approval, have been afraid to speak my truth, been anxious, withdrawn, and seriously lacking in self-confidence. So, I know it was important to delve into these memories, and heal myself, so I can move forward with confidence. My strongest past life memories take place in Ireland. I was born on Earth, but my parents came from a different dimension or planet. They came to Earth, because humans had started cultivating, and had accidentally dug up a gate from inter-dimensional travel that had been buried previously due to dangerous civilizations using it. Our people were responsible for protecting that gate, and my parents, and a whole army rushed to Earth. I remember growing up in Ireland, using transformative “magic” (I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but it was like transfiguration on Harry Potter), and feeling one with nature. I didn’t like that my people looked down upon humans who were certainly not as advanced technologically as we were, but that didn’t make us better. They were such beautiful, feeling creatures, truly special, I thought. I was betrothed, but felt a kinship with humans, and had contact through dreams and visions of a bard in a country close by. This put a strain on my soon-to-be marriage, my family, and my friendships. I knew this bard’s family was gathering an invading party, and they were headed our way. My people prepared for war to defend the island. I protested. I felt it was time for us to leave, and let the humans have dominion over their own planet. No one listened or agreed with me. I ended up fighting beside my people for a cause I didn’t believe in, and I was killed on the battlefield by being run through with a spear.
Another time that I was killed by being stabbed in the stomach, was in Egypt. I was a male in that life, with a wife and child. I worked as a scribe in one of the local temples. I had a dream in which an alien creature with an elongated skull, and a strange swaying gait came over the desert to speak to me. He told me of the Aton Disk, the “one god,” and of the Pharaoh who had been erased from time. The dream was so vivid I spoke to my good friend, a priest at the temple, about what I had been told. His eyes got wide, and he became visibly afraid. “What’s wrong?” I asked him. “You must not speak to anyone about your dream. It is too dangerous. You mustn’t mention it ever again.” I promised I would never speak of it again. But, this being came to me over and over, and I learned about how humans are not alone in the universe, that these beings we worship are not “gods,” like we have believed for so long. I became more and more tormented by the internal conflict this was causing. How can I keep my mouth shut about this important information I have been given? Why is it so dangerous? One night, not being able to stand this tortured state of mind, I went out and drank. My drunken mind unleashed itself, and I spilled the beans into my cup of wine. Unfortunately, I was overheard by someone working hard to suppress this truth, and he reported my indiscretions to the powers that be.
My friend, the priest, came to me the next day while I was working. He was so upset, and said he wished I had followed his advice. He said they were coming for me. He pulled me into a hug, sobbing, and said he would do the best thing he could think of to protect me, and my family. And then he stabbed me in the stomach with a dagger. I was killed for wanting to spread the truth about alien contact. From what I can tell, this past life coincides with the conspiracy to remove Akhenaten, the misshapen Pharaoh who switched the country from polytheism to monotheism. The third past life in which I was stabbed in the stomach came to me in spurts and dreams about 15 years ago. I had a dream about a horse in fine regalia, and a tall head piece. It was brightly colored with antler type protrusions and bangles and beads, and oh, it was just breathtaking. At the same time I was having memories popping up into consciousness about being Chinese, and praying to Mecca. Nothing seemed congruent until I concentrated more deeply, and I found truth in my memories such as learning about the Uyghurs. The Uyghur people were a Muslim group who moved to China in the 900s, and are descendants of Silk Road travelers. These people lived on the edge of the Gobi Desert.
I was a young woman, in my early teens, and I was shunned by my village as evil, because I had visions and could foretell the future. I was exiled and found myself wandering into the desert. I was found by a man who claimed he would protect me. But, offers like that often come with a price, and he attempted to rape me. My screams were heard by a band of Scythians who came rushing toward us on very fine horses, very similar to the ones in the dream I had. They rescued me from this beast of a man, and took me with them. I explained my situation and found use for my abilities. They taught me how to develop, and hone my “sight.” I felt accepted for the first time in my life. I fell in love. Deep, true love with a handsome young man. The leader of the Scythian band, a stoic, middle aged woman with long steal gray hair, saw an opportunity to capitalized on my abilities, and played on my emotions in order to get me to comply. Eventually I understood that I was being taken advantage of, and started to protest. My lover and I decided to run off on our own. This woman was not about to let me out on my own and killed me… by running me through with a sword in that same spot in my abdomen.
Are there other lives where I was killed in a similar fashion? Perhaps, but it seems that remembering three has been enough for me to establish a pattern, and realize these need to be healed. Why I hadn’t realized the connection before my mother said something, is beyond me. But, once the light bulb went off, I knew I needed to attend to this multiple level injury as soon as possible. After contemplating each life, and subsequent death, a pattern definitely emerges. In the Irish life I died defending a cause I didn’t believe in after being told my opinions didn’t matter. In the Egyptian life I was killed when I told the truth about alien life on our planet. In the Silk Road life, I was killed, because I declared sovereignty over my own powers. And I wonder why I’ve struggled to tell my experience as an alien contactee, abductee, and a Starseed in this life! Apparently my soul has learned that if it speaks up, and speaks the truth, it will be killed. My next step was to figure out how to heal these wounds. I could ask for someone to help. However, I had just been taught in a dream (sound familiar?) how to heal the fourth dimensional issues by seeing fifth dimensionally. I had to learn how to apply this technique somehow, so I figured I might as well be my own guinea pig.
So, I slipped into a warm bath, played some past life healing meditation music (it’s amazing what you can find on the internet), and raised my vibration up high enough, so I could see all my lives at once. From that perspective I looked like a pearl necklace with each life a pearl connected with a strand to the next. I was able to locate those three particular lives, and heal each one, and a few others. My pearl necklace turned into a single swirling vortex. I brought myself fully back into the bathtub, and wondered how I would be able to tell if I had been successful. I slept well that night. I still wondered how I would know if I was able to heal myself. Throughout the next week I noticed that I was becoming more easily frustrated, intolerant, and upset that my path to the future I want to see was unclear. I have not felt that angry, that often in a long time. Usually I can convince myself to lighten up. This time I couldn’t. Then, one evening, I sat down to work on this article. I figured I had better verify my own personal knowledge of the solar plexus chakra lined up with what other people say about it (it does, I am happy to announce). I had another light bulb go off in my head as I read about overactive solar plexus chakras. As I identified with the underactive chakra before the healing, I could tell I had moved into overactive chakra territory. That is described as a person being judgmental, critical, angry, and even aggressive. That’s certainly how I was feeling. I obviously cleared whatever blocks I had… and then some. So I just need to bring my chakra into a balanced state. The healing worked! I have found an effective means of healing these wounds we carry from one lifetime to another. It is definitely time for me to stand strong in my truth. The world is ready to hear about the visions I have. The world is ready to learn about my experiences as a contactee, abductee, and Starseed. It’s time to help others heal in this manner, soothing the wounds, from this life or another, in order for us to move forward in a positive fashion.